I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize