You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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