i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
