we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
