some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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