Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
