I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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