Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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