Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.