Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase

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  (703): nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase http://tfl.nu/yg43
  Replies (11) Good night (4741) Bad night (1501)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.

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  (904): Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass. http://tfl.nu/z3do
  Replies (12) Good night (3375) Bad night (867)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.

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  (717): I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top. http://tfl.nu/bct2
  Replies (8) Good night (3804) Bad night (908)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.

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  (702): I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad. http://tfl.nu/4uh2
  Replies (16) Good night (5017) Bad night (1571)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen

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  (920): I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen http://tfl.nu/zyec
  Replies (7) Good night (3858) Bad night (874)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.

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  (304): They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post. http://tfl.nu/qpv3
  Replies (4) Good night (1953) Bad night (1442)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.

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  (251): I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer. http://tfl.nu/4bxr
  Replies (14) Good night (2317) Bad night (1033)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.

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  (406): Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule. http://tfl.nu/1636
  Replies (4) Good night (1248) Bad night (596)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?

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  (414): I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/a756
  Replies (2) Good night (869) Bad night (524)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Not yet.

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  (817): I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous. (512): Not yet. http://tfl.nu/l0rj
  Replies (3) Good night (1244) Bad night (592)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  You fucker.

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  (603): Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age. (1-603): You fucker. http://tfl.nu/7pi3
  Replies (6) Good night (1417) Bad night (572)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.

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  (801): I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me. http://tfl.nu/9dfz
  Replies (0) Good night (300) Bad night (716)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay

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  (919): it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay http://tfl.nu/gpt5
  Replies (2) Good night (604) Bad night (325)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?

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  (505): Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means? http://tfl.nu/odjk
  Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (384)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird

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  (816): Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird http://tfl.nu/90pn
  Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (194)

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