Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
