Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?

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  (610): Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants? http://tfl.nu/1myu
  Replies (33) Good night (2129) Bad night (4666)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.

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  (207): Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers. http://tfl.nu/gf42
  Replies (8) Good night (3748) Bad night (958)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.

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  (443): Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER. http://tfl.nu/iqvs
  Replies (4) Good night (5090) Bad night (927)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.

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  (+44): i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating. http://tfl.nu/8l9m
  Replies (11) Good night (2496) Bad night (849)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle

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  (423): Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle http://tfl.nu/m7ud
  Replies (7) Good night (2106) Bad night (812)
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  (760): View more from California

  PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.

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  (760): PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART. http://tfl.nu/0igl
  Replies (12) Good night (2897) Bad night (828)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...

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  (608): This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me... http://tfl.nu/38uj
  Replies (10) Good night (3771) Bad night (632)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out

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  (306): We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out http://tfl.nu/zt8v
  Replies (3) Good night (1741) Bad night (496)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.

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  (941): He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud. http://tfl.nu/s98m
  Replies (18) Good night (2431) Bad night (582)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?

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  (917): How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do? http://tfl.nu/h8p0
  Replies (5) Good night (1120) Bad night (456)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.

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  (517): Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night. http://tfl.nu/6sjb
  Replies (4) Good night (629) Bad night (1016)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza

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  (484): Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza http://tfl.nu/hmnl
  Replies (0) Good night (1155) Bad night (515)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra

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  (810): Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra http://tfl.nu/ryel
  Replies (4) Good night (777) Bad night (439)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.

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  (604): He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween. http://tfl.nu/lx69
  Replies (0) Good night (330) Bad night (490)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.

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  (404): I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/w6a6
  Replies (2) Good night (364) Bad night (483)

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