For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
What a dumb baby whore.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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