I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon