I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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