i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(