He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site