Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson