Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?

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  (210): Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head? http://tfl.nu/lmud
  Replies (43) Good night (2582) Bad night (1127)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus

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  (540): I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus http://tfl.nu/qqxc
  Replies (38) Good night (1379) Bad night (4216)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.

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  (678): This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes. http://tfl.nu/jrvg
  Replies (63) Good night (7170) Bad night (1002)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  didn't feel it. :)

  (217): View more from Illinois

  It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  wait what? so it's not in america?

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  (217): Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning (1-217): didn't feel it. :) (217): It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't. (1-217): wait what? so it's not in america? http://tfl.nu/0q24
  Replies (65) Good night (1302) Bad night (8829)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

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  (573): I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn. http://tfl.nu/8enu
  Replies (13) Good night (939) Bad night (4138)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka

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  (423): Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka http://tfl.nu/w8nb
  Replies (9) Good night (1263) Bad night (3863)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.

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  (757): I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon. http://tfl.nu/7g7n
  Replies (4) Good night (3038) Bad night (995)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.

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  (251): Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record. http://tfl.nu/akbh
  Replies (19) Good night (1861) Bad night (833)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.

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  (860): Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves. http://tfl.nu/jaio
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (401)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.

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  (705): He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on. http://tfl.nu/2ncf
  Replies (9) Good night (3166) Bad night (536)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now

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  (215): Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now http://tfl.nu/6dgv
  Replies (5) Good night (429) Bad night (557)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.

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  (815): i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar. http://tfl.nu/c912
  Replies (5) Good night (576) Bad night (405)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.

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  (850): Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one. http://tfl.nu/2j08
  Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (300)
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  (858): View more from California

  Is she okay?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.

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  (858): Is she okay? (773): She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine. http://tfl.nu/rwoi
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.

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  (908): We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship. http://tfl.nu/ag21
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (184)

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