Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon. http://tfl.nu/mzh2
  Replies (9) Good night (666) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!! http://tfl.nu/9cgb
  Replies (63) Good night (1004) Bad night (2162)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it. http://tfl.nu/fcdd
  Replies (23) Good night (926) Bad night (3231)
• Favorite

  (627): View more from California

  his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (627): his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting. http://tfl.nu/tvd6
  Replies (46) Good night (1138) Bad night (4300)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly http://tfl.nu/e809
  Replies (23) Good night (750) Bad night (5228)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest" http://tfl.nu/ei63
  Replies (12) Good night (3798) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter. http://tfl.nu/r6gs
  Replies (24) Good night (4119) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C. http://tfl.nu/06rr
  Replies (23) Good night (7020) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it http://tfl.nu/gsrb
  Replies (5) Good night (3768) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table http://tfl.nu/sh7s
  Replies (5) Good night (1815) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand.. http://tfl.nu/4ww2
  Replies (11) Good night (1471) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  how did you know?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something? (614): is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'? (330): how did you know? http://tfl.nu/tzki
  Replies (5) Good night (2369) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday. (802): 'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!' http://tfl.nu/efoo
  Replies (3) Good night (902) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough... http://tfl.nu/vkxi
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit http://tfl.nu/jw8x
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (411)

Randomize