her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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