THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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