No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
