Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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