So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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