the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
