I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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