Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
