if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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