He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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