did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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