There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
