so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
