hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
