Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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