I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
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So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
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So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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