mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
