So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
