Dual....:-)
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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