I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
