I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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