i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
