Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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