I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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