i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i came on her dog
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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