all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
