Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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