I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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