it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
