Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
