He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
