my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
