So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I love you.
Bad choice
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