Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
wow bdsm is so cute
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
