i jhust puked up my retainher.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize