I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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