i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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