So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
