Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
