Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Are my feet made of real feet?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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