And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
worst night to have a conscience
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
