Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
