I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
