At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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