In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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