At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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